mused.blog - 2018 July

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I ended up re-running week 6 day 1 and 2, as I managed to put my back out at the weekend. We were picking up a new puppy (Archer – see other posts) and the plan was we were going to train him to go in an outside doggy toilet. So I got up early on the Saturday Delivery-Day and spent 3 hours digging and generally getting his latrine sorted. We then went down to Folkestone picked him up and as I went to get back in the car something in my back when twang. By the time we got home my back was spasming at the slightest provocation and I was reduced to shuffling around after the new puppy.

We had family round (it was the day of the England quarter finals in the World Cup) for a BBQ and I was struggling to move around let alone deal with a new puppy that needed picking up every few minutes. So it took a couple of days before I could move around without my back complaining. So between that and the demands of a new puppy it was almost a week before I could get back to running. The interesting thing is I wanted to get out and run, partly I suspect because I was cooped up with a furry terror for 24 hours a day (he can’t go out until he gets his second set of jabs, which is another 4 weeks – so we are both grounded).

I had left off at W6R3 and I thought (after a week out) I had better ease myself back into it, rather than go straight to the 25m run. It was a pleasant Friday evening run around the local park, it had been warm during the day but there was a cool breeze by this point that made it nice and fresh. I always assumed come the evening the park was full of drug dealers and teenagers up to no good, there have been a few stories in the past, but in reality on a delightful summer evening it was full of families out with their kids, the usual dog walkers and a number of OAP’s.

Week 6 – run 1 (12/07/2018)

I fired up the app and setup W6R1 again (5m+8+5m) and shoved my regular running playlist on. I was hardly breathing hard after the first 5 minutes, I had ensured the pace was very slow to ease myself in. Recovered in probably less than 30 seconds. Onto the 8 minutes run, and found an even longer route around the park, making a lap now closer to 12 minutes at my current pace by my estimation. Again paced myself and was happy to get through to the last minute in good form, I was actually enjoying it. It took about a minute and half to recover. Onto the last run another 5 minutes, easy in fact picked a route that was a little more uphill to try and make it harder for myself.

Two weeks ago I had run this same session and it had been a living hell, today it was probably one of the best runs I’ve had and I honestly enjoyed it. What changed? It wasn’t my physical capabilities if anything I’d probably gone backwards in the last week. Better pacing for sure made a huge difference, if I compare the two runs that’s a big factor. Over confidence was the main problem in the previous run, this time I was confident but I was also super critical that I didn’t hurt myself doing it. That seemed to make a huge difference.

Run Rating :

Week 6 – run 2 (14/07/2018)

I re-ran W6D2 (2x10m) in the baking midday heat on the Sunday, with a new puppy to take care off I take my chances to run where I can. I popped up to the local park, lots of people out all of them in the shade of the trees. The first 10 minute run was pretty easy, generally getting out to 8 minutes before getting a bit panty. Recovered within the first minute of the 3 minute walk The second run I got to about 6 minutes before I started to feel it. The last couple of minutes were very slow in comparison to my earlier pace. but whatever it takes.

My running form continues to improve, I noticed a few times that I had a nice rhythm that was very easy to just keep going without a lot of mental or physical effort. I still find it helps to break these runs down into 5 minutes sections and just tell myself to run that 5 minutes.

I still get negative “why not quit” thoughts but it’s easier to ignore them the more times you do the same distances. These thoughts are generally at their worst at the start of the run and they tend to elude to how far it is and how difficult it will get. it’s fairly easy to ignore them when you can get to 8 minutes without struggling. I tend to just go back to focussing on now.

My feet don’t hurt anymore in the walks between runs which is a major bonus. I still get a touch of nausea, in this case in the last 2 minutes of the second 10m run, I take it is a sign I’m digging deep, on longer runs it’s a danger sign and something I’ll need to actively manage, i.e. I shouldn’t be digging deep when there’s a lot of time still to go. much better to slow down and back off.

The next run is W6D3 a 25m straight run. Should be interesting, I’ve still got a mental block when it comes to these “long” runs, I’m honestly not convinced I can do it. But I definitely should be able to get to the 20 minute mark and I’m hoping having got there I’ll have enough to push on for another 5 minutes.

I feel like this is the last hurdle, todays run was the last with breaks in the program and like a reluctant horse approaching a big jump I keep balking at it. I need to get my shit together and get used to it, it’s the new norm from next week, just like 1, 3, 5, 8, 10 mins all became norms.

Run Rating :

Week 6 - Run 2 (Take 2)

Week 6 - Run 3

Animals Dog Days

Archer – Week 1

13th July 2018 — 0

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We are slowly getting there. I’ve had to learn as much as him this week about what works and what doesn’t, so it’s been exhausting on both of us. I suspect this will be the worse week though, I guess we’ll see when he starts teething in a few more weeks. I have discovered one of the rope toys works perfectly as a gag if I pop the rope round his neck. doesn’t seem to phase him, just chews it for 20 minutes.

A bit more of his personality is coming out. He’s now started to show the odd sign of affection, wanting to lay near you on occasion and sometimes even giving a shit he’s just bit you, again. Along with it is emerging a wicked stubborn streak. He is relentless if he wants something, be it holly leaves or cat food and when you challenge him you can see the calculated defiance in his eyes.

In spite of all best efforts he managed to get into the cat bowls once and now is on a singular mission to get more of that tasty cat food. We’ve put another gate up to prevent him getting to it, but occasionally it’s been left ajar – it’s a main thoroughfare through the house.

His favourite past time when we are finished in the garden, is to race the long route (he can’t use the short route because the door is usually closed) and try to be in the cat food by the time I can traverse the short route. It’s something like 100ft vs 25 ft. The problem is he’s still proving successful once in a while (because the gate is ajar), and despite my beratement I’m not going to undo the effect of a few mouthfuls of Felix. We’ll be relocating the cat foods to somewhere he can’t reach shortly.

Toilet Training

I watched a few toilet training videos that suggested that being proactive rather than reactive was the way to go. That is, you should be aware before your puppy that it needs to go. So having sent some mixed signals on the subject of toilet training, I’ve gone back to primarily trying to get him to go outside in the garden, ideally in the latrine. I was allowing him to go on the patio, but it’s too much work to cleanup and hose down.

I now show him to the dog latrine, still carrying him most of the way to be fair. He very rarely goes there. But when he does he gets the motherload of treats. I don’t praise or correct him if he goes the toilet anywhere else on the lawn, it’s not like he can do much damage at this time of the year the grass is already yellow, I just clean up the worst of it and move on. I keep him out in the garden until he’s done what I would expect him to do. Hopefully if we persist at this for a bit of time he’ll realise the latrine is the target. I think part of the problem is he wants to walk around before squatting and there isn’t enough room in the metre square latrine to easily do that.

Food

He’s eating Primula Beta puppy food, of which he’s meant to have 4 meals of 50 gramms. The food is wetted to make it easier for him to eat. For the last few days we’ve struggled to get him to eat it all. Reducing the amount of water may have helped (or his appetite has returned) who knows, but he’s starting to woof it down. Apart from cat food (see above) and treats, the rest of his diet still seems to be made up of leaves, stones, sticks and dirt anything he can hoover up in the garden. It’s still a concern but difficult to stop. The good news it’s getting rid of all the crap on my lawn one pebble/leaf at a time, the bad news I’m a deft hand now at getting my fingers down his throat.

Night time

Night time routine is starting to come together, we’ve been aiming to give him supper about 10 as that settles him down and then be in bed shortly after 11. I take his collar off and put him in his cage/bed, he’ll normally take a walk around the bedroom to make sure he knows where everything is and then goes back and sleeps in his bed through to 4-5 when he needs to do his thing. The advantage of having the gate door open at the moment is he just gets up and does it, without having to wake me up. Although he inevitably does, usually because he frets around afterwards rather than going straight back to bed.

I will be closing his cage door all the time next week, and set an alarm for 4:30 to get both of us up, then back into the cage. A couple of more weeks of that and we both might be allowed back in the master bedroom. I’m not taking him outside to toilet at the moment there’s a bunch of puppy pads in the small room. We’ll see how next week goes and consider moving him to defecating outside all of the time. Which would be the ideal, it’s just I don’t fancy a visit to the garden at 4:30 in the morning.

Hygiene

Have I mentioned he stinks, he’s really starting to hum, we’ll be bathing him Saturday to give his coat chance to try dry out in heat of the day. He needs it really bad. I’ve been playing with the hose with him when watering the flowers to get him used to water and being a bit damp. His puppy coat is not very waterproof that’s for sure. My hygiene is only slightly behind his even with daily showers.

Animals Dog Days

Archer – Day 4

11th July 2018 — 0

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I’ll admit it I totally underestimated how full on a puppy can be, we’re 4 days in and I smell more like a puppy than he does, I’ve given up changing shirts (what’s the point), my arms and legs have countless little scratches and my hands are dry and withered from the urine/soap/water cycle. Essentially I think he’s dragging me down to his level, but at least I’d be able to hit the puppy pads with more accuracy.

The cats are clearly starting to lose their patience with him, especially when he encroaches on the favourite parts of their routine, treat and cuddles time. The photo above was of Scratchy at 11pm in the evening after a full day of puppy bullshit, he was deliberately dangling his paw over the side of the sofa goading Archer.

I was on the cat’s side, they have been more than accommodating but the puppy knows no boundaries or limits. It still thinks they are playing and will bark and bound at them, in spite of posturing and hissing. Even having the naivety to chase them on a couple of occasions, which is a huge no-no.

But they have bided their time and have been analysing him for days now, every time he sleeps one of them is watching him for hours at a time. At one point in the afternoon Scratchy bumped noses with a sleeping Archer, they know he’s comatose when he sleeps, after 4 days of non-stop analysis they almost have the full measure of him.

There’s no way of avoiding the fact Archer has some additional training coming up and it will probably start with a long-planned paw to the face, which will redefine their relationship. I suspect given the leniency they’ve shown him though, the first warning is likely to be clawless.

We are still having a high number of accidents, if I’m not reminding him to go pee he will often completely forget where he is and let himself down. Overall I’d say the hit ratio is probably around 60% I’m not sure I want to keep real stats. At least now he understands that it is wrong, a couple of days ago he didn’t even realise that he’s starting to learn my happy and annoyed tones. On his side, he’s also homing his “I’m in the dog house” look, started off a bit weak but will probably be an Oscar-winning performance within the month.

Last night he slept in his bed in the new 30″ cage (perfect fit), with the door open from 11pm-3am. He got up and relieved himself on the pads and had a drink. But then he struggled to go back to sleep, he couldn’t seem to get comfortable and started fretting around (still half asleep mind you). So I got him to go back in his cage and I closed the door, he whined for about a minute, I stroked him through the bars and he gave a big huff (he’s good at huffing) and went back to sleep.

As with most mornings, I have to wake him up, it was 8am again before we stirred. He reluctantly dragged himself out of his cage, went pee on the pad and we headed down and out into the garden for a proper morning constitutional. Breakfast, a bit more play, some more training (I think sit is almost registered, we’ll move onto down next).

He goes through a routine every 3-4 hours which consists of:

wake up:
- pee – almost immediately
- poo – typically only after a few minutes of activity, I’ve come to the conclusion that anywhere in the garden counts at this point, we’ll narrow it down later.
eat / drink (5-10m)
- he’s not a hugely food-oriented dog, he’ll often need coaxing to eat and will leave quite a bit. Most dogs I know woof a bowl down with a single sharp breath, and there would definitely not be any leftovers.
- pee – again
playtime (20-40m) – minutes made up of:
- me playing with him, with the various toys, playing chase/tag, or just play fighting.
- me training him (his name, sit and today down).
- today we were also learning how to do stairs, there are 2 steps to get around the side to the patio and it freaks him out, so we’ve been practising that, mainly by putting an ever-increasing number of treats on the floor and then giving him a push every so often. It is a bit pathetic, he goes up them readily enough and each step is probably about 5 inches in height.
- I try to leave him for 3-5 minutes at a time as well, most of the time he will whine but he doesn’t keep it up for long and I make a point of never coming back if he’s whining. Occasionally he’ll have left me a welcome back present. Bad boy!
- playing by himself – probably about a 1/3 of his wake time he just wants to play on his own with a toy. Sitting quietly in a corner chewing or pushing his Buster cube (unfortunately, the treats are a little large and the reward rate is therefore very low).
- pee – always with the pee!
twilight zone (5-15m) – this is the witching time when he gets tired and his wolf part starts to take over:
- he gets tetchy, bitey, scratchy, less likely to respond to commands
- humping – oh yes, even at this age if the conditions are right, anything soft about 6 inches in height, he climbs on top of is going to receive a rude awakening. Disturbing, and hilarious at the same time, bad boy!
- most of his peeing accidents happen around this time.
- so this is often how he ends up going back to sleep back in the dog house, under the tea table (he can only just get under it now, it won’t last) huffing and puffing giving me the evil eye.

And that’s it over and over again, it’s like a very unfunny version of the movie Ground Hog Day where we’ve got to get through the day without an accident or a huffy pup. Might take a few weeks and I’m sure one of these mornings I’m just going to throw the alarm clock out the window and skip it and we’ll sleep through.

Animals Dog Days

Archer – 48 hours later

10th July 2018 — 0

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So we are making progress. We switched up the sleeping arrangements and Archer slept with me in his bed in the backroom. He was as good as gold and slept in his bed until about 5am when he relieved himself on the pads I’d put down. Unfortunately, he missed the pads on his numbers 2’s. Nothing wakes you up quite as quickly as the smell of warm dog poo, I praised him for being a good boy, cleaned it up and then went to the toilet myself (not on the pad).

He whimpered for about a minute but for the 10 minutes I was away he was mostly quiet. When I got back he went back to sleep and we slept through to about 8am, past his 7am feeding time. In the end, I had to get him up because he’d have been happy to sleep all morning. His new (smaller ) crate turns up today, so I’m planning to put his bed in that tonight and probably not lock it for the first night, so he gets used it.

He mostly comes to his name now, we’ll continue randomly calling him today and giving him treats when he comes over. We’ve also started on “sit” so we’ll see how quickly he picks that up.

He’s been full of beans this morning, probably because he slept well too. He had a few accidents because he was so excited. I’ve realised I was a little over-optimistic about training him directly to the outside latrine given it’s 50ft from the front room. It was putting a lot of stress on the both of us, we’ll transition in a few weeks when we’ve got some of the other fundamentals sorted, it’ll be a lot easier when we are communicating better.

In the front room & bedroom, I’ve put down 4 puppy pads (1m square) so he’s got a better probability of hitting the target, I don’t want to cover the place because I want him to learn there is a difference.

I’ve now got my act together on cleaning. So front room, has spray / toilet roll / kitchen towel / puppy training pads and a black bin bag. Toilet roll used to pick up his poo and kitchen towel to wick pee out of the carpet. So I can deal with 90% of issues quickly and efficiently. The back bedroom and the patio has the same,

Generally, he seems much happier, more playful, more relaxed more engaged. I hadn’t realised what a blank slate he would be, literally all he knew was not to defecate in his bedding. Everything else needs to be taught including the fundamentals of communication.

I’ve stopped him going onto the lawn it was too tempting to eat any old rubbish and he doesn’t need all the space yet. It’s also easier to wash poo/wee off of the patio. We’ve installed a 2nd gate before the cat food to stop him getting to that and it gives us a little bit more freedom/control.

I’m trying to expose him to as many different experiences as possible, today he was hunting for treats in packing paper, a valuable life skill for sure.

Animals Dog Days

Archer – 36 Hours In

9th July 2018 — 0

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We are 36 hours in at this point and it’s a living hell, interspersed with the occasional moment of respite. There’s a lot the intelligence community could learn about interrogation techniques from a puppy. There are times where waterboarding might actually be a more humane option, than the 10th visit to the latrine to watch a puppy just eat pebbles.

Animals Dog Days

Archer – Coming Home

8th July 2018 — 0

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Finally, the long wait was over. It was the day Archer came to his new “forever” home. For some reason, the forever bit is sounding a bit more ominous today. Unfortunately, Archer’s arrival coincided with a mini-heatwave in the UK and an England World Cup quarter-final match. We had to arrange with the breeder to pick him up earlier in the day to ensure we could get back in time for the kickoff.

I’d got up early to finish digging the dog latrine I’d started digging earlier in the week. A construction effort only exceeded by the building efforts of the Egyptians. By about 11am it was sweltering and my back was killing me from the unusual hard physical labour. The hour-long drive down to Folkestone in an air condition car came as a welcome relief. When we arrived the breeder had done a fantastic job of having everything prepared, including:

paperwork:
- vaccination details – including when the next set was due
- feeding – type of food and current schedule (7am, 12pm, 5pm, supper)
- worming details – Panacur 3, 5, 7 and 1/2 weeks
- flead – frontline
- microchip details
- pedigree details including his pedigree name
- Kennel Club registration details
- contact details if there are any questions
- receipt
a couple of days worth of his puppy food
a sheepskin blanket with his mothers/siblings smell on it
a rope toy
all in a lovely bag with his first “grey” collar tied around the handle (nice touch)

The puppies were in the dining room where we had seen them before. It was sweltering and they were mostly all asleep having just been fed. The mother (and uncle) were eager to say hello as always and I went over and fussed with them. I was feeling a little guilty for stealing one of her pups away from her so I promised her (and his Uncle) we’d take good care of him. I’d like to think it translated.

We completed the paperwork and said our goodbyes, promised to send photos and keep the breeder up to date with his progress. Wen got in the back of the car with Archer and we buckled him up with a car leash. I went to get in the car and in doing so something went twang in my back, I didn’t think anything more of it.

Archer and Wen were very docile on the drive back. We had the aircon on full (music off) and they both dozed most the way home. With a quick stop en route to pick up some more of Archer’s current puppy kibble. Arriving home, I went to get out of the car and my back spasmed doubling me over. I struggled to get around the car, get Archer out and carry him through to the toilet. All the time my back giving out every couple of yards. Not quite how I imagined this precious moment.

We reached the toilet and in one last effort I lowered him down onto my handy work, my back finally giving out. He wandered off a few yards and peed on the lawn, I raged silently in agony. Luckily the sun had already bleached the grass to yellow sawdust so it wasn’t like he could stain the grass.

Wen followed me out after dropping Archer’s stuff off and as usual, she had two cats in tow. They got within a few metres of Archer before realising he was a living breathing animal. Their reaction amazingly was very subdued, choosing to back off slowly to a more comfortable distance and proceeded to scrutinise him from afar. Not all together impressed but not aggressive either. I think we were hugely lucky that their first meeting was on outside on open ground.

I was not feeling quite so lucky, Wen had to help me back up and into the house where we bought Archer into the living room and he crashed out again. It was 30 degrees by this point (with the fan going) and there was little respite especially if you happened to be wearing a lovely fluffy coat.

We had family round to watch the England game. Archer slept throughout the whole match, good boy, laying near the door where there was a slight breeze. He even managed to sleep through the cheers when England went 2-0 up, I was jumping up and down throughout the entire match like a frenetic meerkat as my back continued to spasm.

After the game, we fired up the BBQ and relocated to the patio (under the gazebo) where it was a little bit fresher. Poor Archer was still struggling with the heat and I was by this point having to hand over BBQ’ing duties as the family were getting tired of my shuffling hunchback pace and occasional muted screams.

Archer’s contribution to the BBQ was to drop a truly stunning turd at least as long as he was (he had clearly been well fed) in the middle of the patio. He had tried to make it to the grass area, bless him, but we had cordoned it off. I can tell he’s going to have a great sense of timing already.

We finished the BBQ, Archer had spent the last half awake and burrowing behind me on the sofa. I’m sure he was trying to help with my back, but he’s a rubbish masseur. The Russia/Croatia game was at the halfway mark and we finished watching it before the family made their excuses and headed out.

The first night proved difficult partly because of the pup and partly because my back continued to spasm at the slightest provocation, often sending me sprawling. There are only two rules to a pup’s first night we knew them and they were the cornerstone of our strategy:

ignore his whines, because he will whine it’s natural. If we give in all he will learn is that he gets what he wants when he whines.
never, ever let him in your bed, ever! It sends all the wrong signals and you might as well go sleep in his crate for the use you’ll get out of it.

We had decided to put him in a pen in the bedroom with his bed and blanket (so we could hear him if he had a real problem) turned off the lights and went to sleep. Of course, he started crying 2 minutes later. First as a low sad whine and finally as a yelping scream of desperation.

We gave it 10 minutes before giving in, mostly because it was 1 in the morning and with the heat all the windows were open. In the UK opening a window passes for aircon at the height of summer. So although we would have been willing to put up with his crying, it’s fair to say most of the neighbours would not be enjoying his performance.

We took him out of the pen and comforted him (see Rule 1), we were all exhausted and at this point and if getting some sleep meant kicking a pup a few times in the night so be it. We put him on the bed (see Rule 2).

They say no plan survives first contact with the enemy but this was a complete rout. We can at least take some solace in not being the only generals to have our plan scuppered by the weather. Who would have guessed at a mini heatwave in the middle of summer, in the UK it’s unthinkable.

Once on the bed and after a bit of kicking and biting (him not us) to establish some working rules he finally settled down and went to sleep. We amazingly managed to make it through to 5 in the morning. I rushed him downstairs to the toilet and he did his first pee of the day on target on the AstroTurf. What a glorious sunrise and totally worth getting up at the crack of dawn and crippling myself for.

Things can only get better as the old D:Ream track goes!

C25K Running

C25K – Week 6 – Run 2 (Take 2)

6th July 2018 — 0

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I came too around 6:30am and my first conscious thought (other than I need a pee, yeah I’m at that age) was I need to run today. Followed by the realisation that the sooner I got it done the less time I’d waste worrying about it, I crawled out of bed, threw on my running gear and headed to the local park. A glorious summer morning, not too warm yet and a slight breeze perfect running conditions.

Walking up to the park, I replayed the last session. I told myself this was going to be bloody hard, it was not going to be fun and I would at least do more than 14 minutes. I mentally broke the run down into 4 x 5 minutes in my mind. The thought of the next 25m run raised its head and I angrily stamped it down, I was here to run today’s run. Not a marathon.

The local park was strangely busy, I had been here a few times now and this was the busiest I’d seen it. So this is where all the fit people are, they are in the park at seven in the morning. There were several runners, wannabes like myself and even a couple of real runners. One lady, who looked like she was part antelope passed me and I was envious of her gliding effortless pace. In spite of her stature, she was running at a truly stunning speed, very close to what I would consider a sprint. I put it out of my mind and got my head down.

The first 10 minutes weren’t going to be too much of a problem I knew that, I focussed in on the moment, just keeping my form and not thinking. I noticed a few of the runners were running a longer path around the park, I hadn’t even spotted, which also had the benefit of being in the shade. That extended the run around the park from about 5 minutes a lap to close to 8, my brain was already doing the math’s to calculate where I had to get to too stop.

I got to the 8-minute mark and was starting to feel it, so I just eased back a bit. Laura chimed in with 60 seconds to go and I tried not to take it as a cue to change anything. Just keep the same pace. At the 10 minute mark, I was ok. I realised at about a minute into the 3-minute walk that my feet weren’t hurting. They usually kill me in these walks, this time however pretty much nothing. Well, that was progress. I was recovered by the 90-second mark and took the remaining 90 seconds to get some deep breaths in and stretch a bit in my walking.

The 10m run starts and all I’m thinking is get to 5 minutes at least that would be better than last time. Constantly trying to keep a slow steady pace and not waste any effort. The 5-minute mark came surprisingly quickly, I had to remind myself I was here to run today not tomorrow and keep putting the 25m run out of my mind.

The last 5 minutes I was under no illusions was going to be tough. My breathing was slowly spiralling out of control and my legs were getting heavy. My brain had calculated the likely finish line and it was far on the other side of the park.

Before coming out for the run I had watched a news bulletin about 12 Thai kids (and their coach) stuck deep in a flooded cave, the story had been running for a few days after the miracle that they had been found. This mornings update was all bad news, a Thai Navy Seal had died delivering oxygen to the slowly suffocating kids buried 4km underground. And here I was on a lovely sunbathed morning, sucking in fresh air thinking I was in hell, f**** me!

I got to to the 8-minute mark and knew I had done it. I also knew the next 2 minutes was going to be unpleasant, my breathing by this point was very much like the noise of a chugging steam train. The last-minute as advertised was not fun but I was still berating myself for thinking “I” was having a tough time. Pussy!

I had finished it. Yes, it was tough but in the BIG scheme of things, it was a walk in the park. I was annoyed again that I had failed it the first time, more annoyed than on the day. A firm reminder that this was very much a mental game with some physical elements.

Of course, I didn’t even get to the gate before the thought of the W6R3 – 25m run was back, I wish I could just somehow celebrate the moment, these small victories. With the exception of the 20m run, my only thought after every run is “right, what’s next”. Actually, it’s probably a good thing because the only time I ever did give myself a pat on the back I managed to convince myself I was Mo Farah.

Here we are again. I’ve read that the brain has an extraordinary ability to find patterns in things. But for some reason in this instance it can’t join up the dots, this is the same mindset at the start of every new run and every time I’ve found a way. Every single time! So why am I sitting here writing this convinced it’s impossible.

Walking back I’d almost convinced myself I should re-run today, you know to build up more stamina, get more metres under my belt. Which is utter nonsense, it is better to try and to fail than not to try at all, I won’t be beaten before I even make the field. So the next run will be W6R3 and we’ll see what is out there, ideally, it will be only me running.

Music-wise today I went with my “running” playlist of inspirational tracks, I’ve commented on all of them before so nothing new here I’m afraid. Although that bloody Flames track by Sia still stands out at the moment for being on message.

Run Rating :

Week 6 - Run 2

Week 6 - Rerun

C25K Running

C25K – Week 6 – Run 2

4th July 2018 — 0

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Well today I finally failed a run. I’d like to say it was because of fatigue, a stitch, physical injury or illness but the fact of the matter is I just gave up at the 14 minute mark. I just stopped running.

I had decided to go back to the country park (after the frustration of the last session along the river), and I was feeling pretty positive about JUST running 2×10 minutes as I did my extended once round the field warm up.

As usual I mentally broke the run up into 4×5 minute runs and completed the first 10 minutes in reasonable form. Again I think I probably set off too quickly although not as quickly as in the last session. I think there’s an over confidence that comes with the improvement in overall physical fitness. It took almost the full 3 minutes of the walk to fully recover which was a little longer than usual.

I was about 3 minutes into the second run when my inner demons finally found a way to undo me and it came in the form of one simple but insidious question “Do you think you can do the next 25 minute run”. Rather than dismiss the thought (like all the others) this one took root. No I don’t think I can do it, 20m was incredibly hard and I’ve struggled ever since on simpler runs, this running isn’t getting any easier. And as simple as that they (“I”) had beaten me, I couldn’t even see the point of struggling through the last 6 minutes of this run even though I was more than physically capable.

So I stopped, walked the remaining 6 minutes around the field and headed back, analysing why this time?, why this question? it was after all no different to the 20m question a week earlier. I can’t say I was angry or even upset, I was annoyed yes, I’d let myself down. And that’s when I realised, THAT was the problem I wasn’t angry, I should be furious, somewhere post the W5D3 – 20m run I had lost the passion to see this through.

Earlier runs I was in no doubt each run was a fight and it was fight I was ready to take on. My mental state going into each run was “I don’t think I can do this but I’m going to leave it all out on that field before I admit defeat”. Somehow I’d become complacent, I’d convinced myself post W5D3 that I was no longer going to have to fight, that I would just dance around the field without a care in the world.

I hadn’t approached these last two runs thinking I could fail, I went into them thinking they would be easy. The reality of course is there are NO easy runs if you are pushing yourself, there never will be. This is when I finally realised the truth, I had been beaten by my own lie to myself, I’d bought into my own bullshit so convincingly I’d given up the fight.

Back in the interrogation room I got called out and I knew it. How did I answer the 20m question this time last week, simple I didn’t answer it, when it came up (several times in run W5D1&2) I simply put it out of my head and focussed on what I was doing. Today I entertained the question for a split second, why because I was lying to myself and the interrogator (me) knew it – I had no defence. At 14 minutes in, this run wasn’t easy it was nasty and the next long 25 minute run will be far worse. I need to accept that, stop this nonsense about easy runs and just start sucking it up.

So between now and the re-run of W6D2 I’m going to need to get my shit together (Morty sums it up best), reset and get back to going into each run like it’s a fight, starting with undo’ing this failure:

The music on today’s run was from a 200+ track vaguely “Rock” playlist I shove on when I can’t be arsed to figure out something to listen to, and as always there were a couple of tracks that pretty much summed up the session nicely.

The Chain – Fleetwood Mac

Fleetwood Mac’s the Chain. There is nothing I can add that hasn’t already been said about this classic track, apart from my interpretation of the lyrics when running. This kicked in at the start of the 2nd 10 minute run:

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light

Well I was feeling the wind, still a bit blowy out here. Running in the shadows, damn the light – I realised I was running along in the midday sun when I could be running in the cooler shade under the trees, idiot. Damn your lies, was a negative thought, the lies I told myself including the big one, that this would be easy.

And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

If I don’t love running now, I won’t ever love running again. Never break the chain, yes obviously I was using this to mean I wouldn’t fail this run and break my successful chain of runs. The twisting of these lyrics were a crack in my will, and a sign of my impending failure only minutes later, i.e. I honestly believed the chain would break in the next run, so what was the point.

The legendary guitar solo that makes up the second half of this track didn’t help either, after the rocky music nothing is going to get the old adrenaline pumping. More wasted energy at this point of a run.

Wonderwall – Oasis

Another classic track, this kicked in just after I stopped and Liam pretty much did what he does best and showed his Mancunian disdain for my failure:

Today is gonna be the day
That they’re gonna throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realised what you gotta do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now

Today is the day I failed, I should have realised by now what I have to do to complete these runs. I clearly haven’t. Don’t believe that …body, my body is never happy after the first 3 minutes. I don’t believe anybody feels the way I feel about me now mate. Failure!

Backbeat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Everyone is going to know I failed (like I care), the fire in my heart is most definitely out. I never had a doubt I’d fail at some point. Alright Liam I get it …. just f**** off now!

Paint it Black – The Rolling Stones

I know that people who read this are going to start thinking I’m just adding these tracks at a later date to suit the situation, I swear I’m not, I don’t know if a higher power is in charge of shuffle on my playlists or if it’s just that I twist any lyrics to the moment. But even I scoffed when Liam’s beratement was replaced with of all tracks Paint it Black, yeah just about right.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and must have it painted black
Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts
It’s not easy facing up when your whole world is black

No words at this point, even the bloody sun has gone behind the clouds.

And that was W6D2, on paper the simplest run in the program as far as I can see, and I managed to fail it, and even more frustratingly I didn’t fail it just doing this run I failed it worrying about the next run. I was most definitely not in the now, I was in some imaginary hell sometime in the future.

Well that will stop, it’s time to knuckle down, get back to focussing on one step at a time (not some bullshit possible future) and start getting MAD!

Run Rating :

Week 6 - Run 1

Week 6 - Run 2 (Take 2)

C25K Running

C25k – Week 6 – Run 1

2nd July 2018 — 0

Well I’ve been looking forward to this run all weekend, now I know I have 20m in the tank I was ready to take on the world, this mornings 2×5 + 1×8 runs would at best stretch my legs. I decided to change the venue to run along the river, a popular route for cyclist’s and runners on what turned out to be a blisteringly hot Monday morning. I’d walked/cycled the route enough to know there was generally a stiff breeze which I hoped would keep me cool.

Well, I managed to turn a lovely morning into running hell again, billy big bollocks thought he would up the pace to try and gain that extra 1mph (see Jogging vs Running) that would make him a runner (as opposed to a jogger). The first 5 minute run wasn’t too bad, I did have to dial it back at the three minute mark and the last 30 seconds was getting a bit testy, but no worries 3 minutes to recover. Recovered in just under 2 minutes, my feet where killing me even more than usual and it took the full 3 minutes for them to stop aching.

On to the 8 minute run and I realised 2 minutes into it, I was struggling, badly! Physically yes I taken a bit more out of my legs than usual, but that wasn’t the problem. Mentally my inner demon’s were wingeing about the fact this was meant to be easy, replaying the lies I had told myself over the weekend about gliding along without effort, now that of course I was a runner.

The realisation came crashing in that last week counted for very little right now, that the remainder of this 8 minute run was going to be as tough as any run I had ever done was in many respects a tougher truth to digest than the epic 20m run on Friday. I was back in the interrogation room and I didn’t even know how I got back here? Worst still that cool breeze was doing little to keep me cool and was in danger of blowing me backwards

There were several points I was going to quit, telling myself “it just wasn’t my day. I could try again tomorrow“, and I came very close to accepting that. More so than any run I’d done to date. The only thing that kept me going was the fact I hadn’t quit any session, so was this really going to be that moment? Or could I hang on just another minute, just another few metres. So metre by metre, one long minute at a time I dug in and just tried to keep going. My pace by this point was as slow as it’s ever been, my form was gone, it just turned into an uncontrolled slog and one I was failing to mentally manage. Instead of focussing on the running I was entertaining all the aches/pain/nausea, it was hopeless!

I managed to get through what I’m convinced is the longest 8 minutes of my life, and I was spent. It took the whole 3 minutes to get my breath back. I’m not sure I had 5 minutes left in me by the time Laura was demanding it, but I new I had at least 2-3 minutes and so I pushed on at a very slow pace. Which is just another lie I tell myself, I know if I can get to within 2 minutes of finishing I’m not going to quit, to fail at the last is the worst kind of failure.

When it was over I was under no illusions that there is never going to be an easy run, and if I don’t treat each one with respect I’m going to end up kicking my own arse. And now I know why week six dials it back, it looks like an anomaly on the progression chart but it’s a safety net to catch the over confident idiots like myself. Another lesson learnt the hard way.

I usually detail the music I find helps when running, today’s run I fancied something a bit upbeat and shoved Rae Sremmurd’s SremmLife 2 album on (yeah I’m down with the kids). I had heard Childish Gambino’s – This is America over the weekend and I thought it sounded a lot like Rae Sremmurd, so I thought I’d review. It’s a great album I can totally relate to it as a middle aged white guy living in the garden of England (that’s irony for those of you wondering), but I must admit even I was struggling to draw any lyrical running inspiration. I suspect i’s probably due to the lack of swangin n****** and bad b****** on the riverside at this time of the morning.

Anyway onwards to the next session and let’s see if I can make this one a little easier on myself.

Run Rating :

Week 5 - Run 3

Week 6 - Run 2

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